the hunger games

After sorting through hundreds of dentists today, I'm taking a break to look at the cast for the upcoming Hunger Games movie(s) and GETTING CRITICAL.

If you haven't read the books, I don't know how much sense this will make; go along with it anyway.

baaaaaaaadaaaaaaaasssssss

Besides the obvious issues with hair and eye color - which I guess you can change? Why not! It is Hollywood, and very Capitol-ish - I guess I'm more or less okay with Katniss and Peeta. Jennifer Lawrence looks completely badass on the cover of Entertainment Weekly, and Josh Hutcherson was pretty enjoyable in Bridge to Terabithia and The Kids Are Alright. Gale seems a bit too beefcake-y to be able to pull off smart, angry hunter guy who drives a revolution. He was dating Miley Cyrus, y'all. Let's be real.

My first real issue comes with Elizabeth Banks as the efficient and thoughtless Effie Trinket. I love Elizabeth Banks. Don't get me wrong. She's fantastic. It's just... Dudes, the thing with this is that the image that always pops into my head for Effie Trinket is more or less this -->

Come on! How awesome would that be? Nicki Minaj sauntering around in weird future suits with like Jetson-ish hips, squeaking out "May the odds be ever in your favor!" in a lisping Capitol accent? COME ON. Get behind me, internet.

Also, I think that Lady Gaga should have been enlisted as a stylist consultant for the Capitol residents. Just the normal ones.

I have to say, I didn't think of Woody Harrelson for Haymitch Abernathy. I was thinking more of that dude who played Mad-Eye Moody. But now, having thought about it, I really love Woody Harrelson as Haymitch. Loud-mouthed, drunken, falling into a pile of his own vomit. Oh Haymitch.

Stanley Tucci will make a completely wonderful Caesar Flickerman. Excellent choice, Stanley Tucci's parents, for getting together to create that man.

For Prim, though, I was having dreams of it being Chloe Moretz. I don't know, I know Prim's supposed to be 12, but Chloe Moretz has such a great range, and I think she could pull off all three years of Prim-ness. Sure, I don't know anything about this other random girl. Maybe she has all that great little-kid-ish-ness to her.

But then, on the other hand, the girl who they picked for Rue looks just right. I don't know. Maybe I just have too clear of pictures of them built up in my head.

Donald Sutherland as President Snow? I don't know. I feel like he looks like he has aged naturally, but I suppose it's easy enough to get some tape and do a quick facelift and lip augmentation? I don't know. I can only really think of him right now as Mr. Bennett, and he was so likable there.

OH, OH MY GOD. I DO NOT KNOW HOW I ONLY JUST GOT TO THIS.

LENNY KRAVITZ IS CINNA.

I DO NOT EVEN KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH MYSELF RIGHT NOW.

I want to take you seriously, Hunger Games movie. I do. But. But. LENNY KRAVITZ. As CINNA.

Well good God.

At least they got Glimmer insanely right.