So, watching Secret Life, like I do, laughing about how they're working in someone retelling their plotline (Ben wants to date the pothead, and thus lots of overexplanatory speeches have happened about the last few years of his and his father's lives), laughing at another absurd Grace plotline (Grace's dad was going off to Africa because HE HAD A SECRET FAMILY IN AFRICA, WTF), when the following happens:
Grace calls Jack and says, "Wanna have sex?" Jack immediately sprints out of his room, shows up at Grace's in like no time, she's like, "Oh I changed my mind," banter banter banter, AND THEN:
Jack: "Confusion is good sometimes."
Grace: "Sometimes? Like when?"
Jack: "Like when you're trying to get a girl into bed?"
HOLD THE GODDAMN PHONE, SECRET LIFE. WHAT THE HELL. WHAT THE HELL.
Things that are good when trying to get someone into bed:
- Open dialogues
- Active and informed consent
- Enthusiasm
- Not using the phrase "trying to get [x] into bed" to their face
Things that are NOT good (or, more colloquially, BAD) when trying to get someone into bed:
- Non-consent
- Reluctance
- Confusion
WHAT IN THE EVERLOVING FAMILY PROGRAMMING, SECRET LIFE?!?!??!
Seriously though, I don't really like you taking the weirdest, most stalkery and obsessive character, who tells random girls that he loves them so that they'll sleep with him, AND THEN HAVING HIM SAY A TOTALLY CREEPY LINE.
I seriously paused the TV, said, "WOAH, SECRET LIFE! WOAH! WOAH! WHAT THE HELL! WOAH!" and ran to get my laptop to write this because I can't even deal with how WTF that whole thing was.
Wait, let's see how Grace responds, because I cut her off in my "WOAH WOAH WTF WOAH" freakout - pressing play -
Grace (shaking hands with Jack): "Maybe we can be friends, but I don't know if that's possible!"
Jack: "Maybe, but I will always want to have sex with you."
Grace: (Epic eyeroll)
Hmm. Not exactly the WOAH WOAH WTF WOAH WHAT WOAH moment I would've liked. By which I mean, I'm not sure why Grace didn't throw his creepy rape-speak-ing ass out the kitchen door.
Holy crap, guys. What in the hell. What in the love of family programming involving incredibly poor family planning.
Oh yeah, and Amy's late. Again. Amy. Oh, Amy. Jesus, Amy. Stop having unplanned babies. Welp, one-third of teen moms get pregnant again in short order. At least she's telling Ricky. That's like a step in the right direction. Maybe. Oh wait, no she's not, she's just being mysterious and crying for no clear reason. Maybe they will finally really deal with abortion on this show that has had like fifteen unplanned pregnancies. Maybe that will be a thing.
HAHAHAHAHA LIKE THAT'S GOING TO HAPPEN.
Why do I watch this? What is my deal?
Also there is no such thing as a box of condoms that is just blue with CONDOMS in big white letters that stretch across the whole thing. The entire point of condom packaging is that it's mildly discreet.
Anyway. That's my rant of the day. Based on a show that a lot of teenagers are watching. That's great. That's awesome. That's what teenagers need to see, an obsessive stalker getting a shot at a girl he's stalking. Yay. And a million pregnancies. All the babies. Jesus.
UPDATE FROM END OF EPISODE: Amy's not preggo. She was just late. And they had stopped using condoms. Dude. Dude. You'd think someone who got PREGNANT THE FIRST TIME SHE EVER HAD SEX would be a little less cavalier about birth control methods.
Grace calls Jack and says, "Wanna have sex?" Jack immediately sprints out of his room, shows up at Grace's in like no time, she's like, "Oh I changed my mind," banter banter banter, AND THEN:
Jack: "Confusion is good sometimes."
Grace: "Sometimes? Like when?"
Jack: "Like when you're trying to get a girl into bed?"
HOLD THE GODDAMN PHONE, SECRET LIFE. WHAT THE HELL. WHAT THE HELL.
Things that are good when trying to get someone into bed:
- Open dialogues
- Active and informed consent
- Enthusiasm
- Not using the phrase "trying to get [x] into bed" to their face
Things that are NOT good (or, more colloquially, BAD) when trying to get someone into bed:
- Non-consent
- Reluctance
- Confusion
WHAT IN THE EVERLOVING FAMILY PROGRAMMING, SECRET LIFE?!?!??!
Seriously though, I don't really like you taking the weirdest, most stalkery and obsessive character, who tells random girls that he loves them so that they'll sleep with him, AND THEN HAVING HIM SAY A TOTALLY CREEPY LINE.
I seriously paused the TV, said, "WOAH, SECRET LIFE! WOAH! WOAH! WHAT THE HELL! WOAH!" and ran to get my laptop to write this because I can't even deal with how WTF that whole thing was.
Wait, let's see how Grace responds, because I cut her off in my "WOAH WOAH WTF WOAH" freakout - pressing play -
Grace (shaking hands with Jack): "Maybe we can be friends, but I don't know if that's possible!"
Jack: "Maybe, but I will always want to have sex with you."
Grace: (Epic eyeroll)
Hmm. Not exactly the WOAH WOAH WTF WOAH WHAT WOAH moment I would've liked. By which I mean, I'm not sure why Grace didn't throw his creepy rape-speak-ing ass out the kitchen door.
Holy crap, guys. What in the hell. What in the love of family programming involving incredibly poor family planning.
Oh yeah, and Amy's late. Again. Amy. Oh, Amy. Jesus, Amy. Stop having unplanned babies. Welp, one-third of teen moms get pregnant again in short order. At least she's telling Ricky. That's like a step in the right direction. Maybe. Oh wait, no she's not, she's just being mysterious and crying for no clear reason. Maybe they will finally really deal with abortion on this show that has had like fifteen unplanned pregnancies. Maybe that will be a thing.
HAHAHAHAHA LIKE THAT'S GOING TO HAPPEN.
Why do I watch this? What is my deal?
Also there is no such thing as a box of condoms that is just blue with CONDOMS in big white letters that stretch across the whole thing. The entire point of condom packaging is that it's mildly discreet.
Anyway. That's my rant of the day. Based on a show that a lot of teenagers are watching. That's great. That's awesome. That's what teenagers need to see, an obsessive stalker getting a shot at a girl he's stalking. Yay. And a million pregnancies. All the babies. Jesus.
UPDATE FROM END OF EPISODE: Amy's not preggo. She was just late. And they had stopped using condoms. Dude. Dude. You'd think someone who got PREGNANT THE FIRST TIME SHE EVER HAD SEX would be a little less cavalier about birth control methods.
